addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
