thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
