so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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