I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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