if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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