Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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