i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
