like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
