i permit you to call me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Randomize