If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
