Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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