how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize