Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
