Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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