I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
