i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
