I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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