i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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