we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize