He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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