whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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