Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
