is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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