I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
