If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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