Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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