Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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