She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
