You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
