Got a toothbrush?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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