I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
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