You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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