i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
