Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
