Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
