she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
