so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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