Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
