White coat. Heels.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
