probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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