i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
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