dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
