Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
