I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
