Are we in a gay sports bar?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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