he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
