where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
