is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
