margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
