Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
