this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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