so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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