I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
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It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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