I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize