your room smells of hookers.
And success
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
