I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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