Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
