I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
