It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
