I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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